Monday, December 14, 2009

Testimonials in CAL NEWS

I wanted to share with you two articles that I wrote for CSD's Cal News, if you haven't read them already. Obviously, the testimonials that I wrote were very brief and I hope to expand on our journey here in this blog.
Click on the links below. Each is a separate article.

http://www.csdf.k12.ca.us/outreach/parents-story.html
http://www.csdf.k12.ca.us/outreach/parents-story4.html

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Christmas goodies

The weather has been delightfully cold and rainy. We spent a lazy Sunday at home while it drizzled outside and baked some sugar cookies. Both Ty and Jaden took turns cutting the cookies and patiently waited for them to cool so they could decorate them. This picture is during the cookie decoration process, moments after Jaden told me, "Why's Ty peeking at my cookies?". My reply, "He thinks yours look really cool". He then went on to tell me, "Oh, he wants to copy me!" Brotherly love.

Reading

It was brought to our attention this past week that Jaden is not progressing with his reading as quickly as his teachers would like to see. He is a beginning reader and up until the past few months he had no desire to read himself. He was content in being read to but when encouraged to read, or simply make up words to the story, he refused. I took it as him just not being ready, a bit of laziness, and a lot of it due to his delayed language. I also think that some of it is just his personality. He wants things to be done perfect. If it isn't going to be correct then he will not even attempt. Even with art, things must be symmetrical and have place and order. I can't say that I myself don't understand this and do not question where this personality trait comes from. I think that although it's difficult to persuade him that it's ok to make mistakes at this point, this could work in his benefit later in life.
Looking back, I can now see how I took for granted how Ty picked up on reading and language. It was never something we "taught" directly to him. His language was delayed due to chronic ear infections until he was 2 yrs old. He was a late talker in that he didn't start talking until after he was 3 yrs old. When Jaden's Early Intervention speech therapist would come and do weekly home visits with Jaden, I would beg her to assess Ty because I knew he should have been talking! He did start talking clearly shortly after that but his lateness didn't affect his language acquisition or his reading. As a matter of fact, he was reading at a 3rd grade level in the 1st grade.
I've known that reading was going to be more of an effort with Jaden. After all, he is still struggling to acquire age appropriate language. At the same time, he is learning to read and write in English. How is it happening? I can't quite explain because I am not an expert in language acquisition in Deaf children or bilingualism. What I do know is that Jaden is fortunate to be a student at a superior school for the Deaf. There are experts there among Deaf teachers who themselves would know better then anyone how to educate a Deaf child from the fact that they are Deaf alone. There is so much research and time being invested into first and second languages in Deaf children. Like I said, I know the basics but aside from that....don't ask me. However, I will be researching it and contacting people to see how I can better support Jaden at home. His teacher did give me a few things we can be doing for now. 1)reading with Jaden at home 2) flashcards. We've been doing both. Each night before bed we do guided reading with the books that are sent home from his teacher. After guided reading we do storytime. Recently I have added flashcards with high-frequency words to our nightly routine. I can say that it's been going well and I'm seeing progress. So you can see why my stomach was so sick to get the email that said that Jaden's reading is not progressing like it should.
His teacher did share with me that she too has seen Jaden's strong desire and interest in reading as of lately. She thinks that there is so much that Jaden wants to learn right now, aside from language catch up, that he may just need more time. That it could be due to stress too. Jaden himself has told his teacher that he wishes he knew more ASL. That is heart wrenching for me. She said they, the teachers, have never had a 1st grader tell them that before. Jaden knows that his ASL is not like the other students in the class. Mind you, all but 3 out of 14 students in the class are from Deaf families. They were born into a home filled with language and haven't gone a day without language. For Jaden to have the personal insight to know that he has a hard time communicating and shares his desire to know more ASL, that tells me that he is going to go far. The desire and the drive is there and no one can teach that or give that to him...that comes from him alone. His teacher thinks that as his language grows that non-ASL academics will also grow. Right now we will not pressure and want to make sure that they poor little guy isn't stressed out. You see how my past decisions for him in the past have affected him even up until now? Language is the key, whatever you decide to do for your Deaf baby....ASL is the key. Language, language, language. Don't let anyone tell you different!
I contacted the Elementary Reading Specialist at CSD and will be meeting with her soon. Again, how blessed we are to have a school with such outstanding resources. I also will be checking in with the teachers more frequently to stay on top of this. I do feel a real urgency when it comes to Jaden's reading. I desire for him to not only master ASL but also English.
If anyone reading this blog has any pointers or tips, please share with me. I appreciate it!
I will keep you posted on Jaden's journey with reading.

Busy, busy, busy

Hi all, as the title to this blog indicates....we've been busy, busy, busy. We are in full-blown basketball mode. Cedric is not only coaching JV boys basketball again this season but, we also have 2 boys of our own playing that he is coaching as well. I could go into a whole other blog explaining the emotion and stress that he's shared with me about coaching his own sons. I won't though and will leave that for him to maybe soon share himself on his own blog (hint hint).
Ty was asked to join the 4th/5th grade boys at CSD again this season. In all fairness to him, we did offer for him to play with a hearing team this season instead. His response-no way! He wanted to play with is friends at CSD again this season. I'm sure the fact that they went undefeated last season may have swayed him some....or maybe it's just that he really has made friends with the boys on the team. By the way, the "Runnin' Rebels" are off to a great start this season. I have seen growth and improvement in all the players since last season.
I can not stress enough how grateful we are that Jaden is a student at CSD. Aside from providing for him a superior education, he is also able to participate in sports with his Deaf peers and Deaf coaches. His first experience was t-ball last season in Kindergarten. This basketball season he is playing on a co-ed basketball team with his Deaf friends, all which are from his 1st grade class. Cedric and another dad are coaching, both coaches are hearing. I'll be honest in saying that I do wish that one of the coaches was Deaf. It's obvious that there is a communication disadvantage for both the players and the coaches. Cedric and I were discussing this after Saturday's game and both agreed that we feel the kids do deserve a Deaf coach. We feel comfortable being a support to the team, to the players, and to a coach, but don't feel that it's in the kids best interest to take the place of head coach. However, the "Starfish" team is really fun to watch and play with so much emotion and eagerness. I laugh the whole game through and get a real kick out of watching these little guys chase the ball around the court with nothing on their minds but stealing that ball and getting into the basket!
We did have our first upset while at Jaden's game this past weekend. Mind you, Jaden loves basketball. It's in his blood. He has told me that he enjoys watching the high school boys at CSD play and practice so he can learn from them and copy them. His dad is a coach so I suppose you can call him a gym rat. He enjoys playing coach on the sideline of Ty's games and is eager to tell the referee when he misses a foul! He is very mindful while he is on the court during a game and makes sure that his teammates are okay. Which is why he had a meltdown at this last game. After dribbling the ball down the court, he stopped and had his back to the player that was guarding him. He went to pivot and had his elbows up holding the ball...just as he has seen and knows to do. As he went to pivot, the boy guarding him got knocked onto the floor and although he wasn't hurt, he was crying and taken off the court. Jaden seemed to be unsure whether or not he really hurt the boy and if what happened was serious or not. Within a few seconds he walked over to the boy that was not sitting on the bench to tell him sorry. I think at that moment Jaden felt embarrassed and also responsible for hurting the boy. He hid his face against his dad and started sobbing. He wouldn't make eye contact with anyone, not even the little boy who he accidentally knocked over who came to tell him that he was ok and not hurt and that he was sorry. He even asked how to sign "ok" to Jaden. The game was then over and like the great parents that they are, Jaden's teammates parents all came up to him to tell him what a great job he did during the game and how fouls happen in all sports, accidents happen, and how they look forward to next weeks game.
This leads me to my next blog. As I reflected on the incident as we drove home after the game, I couldn't help but feel some inadequacy in my ability to communicate with my Deaf son. Don't get me wrong, after he was done wiping his tears and snot into my sweater while he was hiding his face, I consoled him. I told him that it was an accident, that I was proud of him for showing good sportsmanship and telling the boy sorry. That this happens in all sports and that even adults make fouls like this when playing sports. I'm sure I got the point across and I know he understood me yet when I see the other parents communicating with him I desire so badly to be able to communicate with my son in that same way....deep conversation and not basic chat, to fully explain instead of fumbling with generic signs, to not hold him back in any way because of me not being fluent in ASL. During that car ride home a question that I ponder quite frequently...why God, did you bless our family with our dear Jaden and not a Deaf family where he wouldn't ever experience the things he has and does with our hearing family?
All I know is this....God knew that no other family would love this beautiful little boy in the same way that we do. I guess you can say that our family had a "Jaden-shaped" hole and God knew exactly what He was doing when He decided that our family would be perfect for Jaden and Jaden perfect for us. We've learned that we are not alone in raising Jaden and that the CSD community, the Deaf community, are along side us and Jaden each step of the way.

One day at a time...that's all we can do.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Welcome

I suppose it's fitting to open up this new blog with a BIG welcome!

Thanks for taking the time to visit this blog. I hope that you will visit frequently and I also hope that I continue to keep current and up to date with all the happenings that are going on. So you know, I also plan on sharing a lot about Jaden's story. Although many of you know his story, there are many that don't. My hopes in sharing his story is that other Deaf babies will not need to live the same experience that Jaden did for the first 4 years of his life (or even the stuggles that he still has now due to those first 4 years without language). I hope that by reading about his experience, thru my eyes, that other parents out there who are, or were, or could be, in the same situation that we were may learn from our mistakes and not make the same ones.

This is my story, unique to Jaden and our family. I will share honestly and from my perspective, our experience, and my feelings.

Please feel free to comment. However, if it's not nice, please keep it to yourself. If there is anything you would like to know, or for me to share, or any questions, don't hesitate to ask.

Again, thanks for visiting and hope you come back again soon!